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MANASSAS VOLUNTEERS TAKE A ROAD TRIP TO HERSHEY, PA |
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On Friday, June 10th, 2005 five members
of the Manassas Volunteer Fire Company climbed
aboard Wagon 501 to embark on a journey to the
Hershey, Pennsylvania, Volunteer Fire Company's 100th
anniversary parade. Little did these members
realize, but they were about to have a weekend that
could easily be compared to the movie Road Trip,
with the exception of the Cheetah underwear. |
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To protect the identity of the members assumed names
will be used. They are “Steve” the driver, “Matt”
the officer, “Randy” the fireman, “Joe” the black
hat rookie, and “Sam” the red hat rookie. |
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The
members met at the firehouse around 1700 hours to
begin the first leg of the trip which would take
them to the Weavertown VFD in Lebanon, PA to spend
the night. “Matt’s” uncle, we shall call him “Uncle
X” is the chief of the department. Even though the
plans were to leave at 1700 hours they never made it
out of town until well after 1800 hours
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since
“Steve” had to stop at McDonald’s and then 7-11
(“Steve” can pass anything on the road except a
7-11. He’s worse than traveling with a 3 year
old). Finally, they were on the way! The traffic
from Manassas all the way to the Loudoun County line
was bumper to bumper! It was hot outside and to
make matters worse “Steve” had to drive with his
window down. What a pain in the ass. After much
whining and complaining from the back seat crew,
“Steve” finally gave in and rolled up the window.
Well, it was soon realized that rolling up the
window didn’t cure the hot air entering the crew
area. The |
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freakin’ heater was turned on under the rear seat
and the knobs were broken off! Crap! While
“Randy” was dozing off, “Joe” decided to fix the
heater and got a pair of vise grip pliers to turn
off the heat controls which were directly under
where “Randy” was sitting. While performing this
operation “Joe” could not resist the urge to apply
the vise grips to “Randy’s” lower male anatomy. The
piercing shrieks that resulted startled everyone on
board including “Steve” the driver who almost ran
off the road trying to see what was happening behind
him. After severe stomach pains and shooting pains
down his left leg “Randy” was no worse for the
experience. “Steve” said later that the shrieking
was so loud he thought he had run over a Mountain
Lion. |
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All was going well as Wagon 501 motored up Route 15
until they ran into a cloud of killer knats that
plastered the windshield. This required a stop at a
convenience store in Frederick, MD. This worked
well for “Steve” as he hadn’t been in a 7-11 for
over an hour. “Sam” cleaned the bugs off the
windshield and after “Steve” cruised the aisles for
“just the right bag of chips” they were off again.
They were making good time on Route 15 when the
traffic suddenly came to a screeching halt for an
accident about a half mile up the road. While
waiting in traffic “Joe” and “Sam” stood on the
front bumper |
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and
peeled bugs off the windshield. While “Sam” was
cleaning the windshield he swears that he saw a full
eclipse of the moon through the windshield. He said
it looked like a “short moon.” Traffic finally
started moving and, with the exception of a few
wrong turns by the two morons up front and a trek
through the slums of Harrisburg, they arrived at the
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Weavertown VFD shortly after midnight. I forgot to
mention that the Lt., "Matt", who is from these
parts, had to call for directions! Yea, way to go
Lt. |
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Moving on, the crew was surprisingly greeted by six
members of the company who had waited up for their
arrival. After checking out their station and
equipment they all went to the kitchen where several
trays of cold cuts had been set out for them. We
told stories for several hours hitting the bunk room
at 0300 hours! Always the purveyors of practical
jokes, several (alleged) prank calls were made to
the MVFC station. |
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Promptly at 0700 hours the station tones were
activated and “Uncle X” advised all MVFC personnel
to turn out! They first thought it was a real call
until “Uncle X” poked his head in the bunkroom and
started yelling at them to get up! |
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The Weavertown Firefighters treated them to a great
breakfast at a nearby restaurant. During breakfast
they were introduced to the “Ladle.” The “Ladle” is
actually one of the |
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Weavertown
members who has the largest tongue in the State. It
looked like something you would find in the meat
counter of the grocery store. When the tongue was
unrolled (literally) it actually scared “Joe”. The
damn thing was about six inches long and four inches
wide. Naturally, they took several photos of it.
Allegedly, the “Ladle” got a blue ribbon at the
local agricultural fair last year. After breakfast a
fight nearly broke out when “Matt” tried to pay the
bill and “Uncle X” grabbed him by the throat and
told him he had it covered. Needless to say, “Uncle
X” paid. “Matt” is a sissy and should have fought
back. |
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When they got back to the firehouse the Weavertown
guys actually washed Wagon 501 for them!
Unbelievable. One member drove to a local pretzel
shop and picked them up a |
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dozen
fresh hot pretzels right out of the oven. The
hospitality was outstanding and made for a great
time. |
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At the parade staging area they had to wait about
three hours before the parade started. They killed
time by walking around checking out the hundred or
so rigs that were lined up. There are definitely
some beautiful rigs in PA. “Matt” was bored and
told “Joe” to climb a tree….which he promptly did.
Got photos of that, too. Once the parade started
everyone kept yelling at them: “Where the hell is
Manassas?” We thought |
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everyone knew where Manassas was. Wrong. So,
“Randy” took it upon himself to yell out the window
“We are from Virginia”. Most people just stared at
him like he was from Uranus. |
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The
funniest thing during the parade was when they
passed a convenience store. “Steve” started getting
nervous knowing he couldn’t stop so he had “Sam”
jump off the rig and run into the CVS to buy him a
pack of cigarettes. Unfortunately for “Sam” they
kept moving with the parade. When “Sam” finally
emerged from the store the Wagon was over a block
down the street. “Sam” ran like a fat lady at an
all-you-can eat buffet while “Randy” screamed out
the door, “Run Forest, run!” The crowd was laughing
hysterically as “Sam” finally leaped aboard the
rig. “Sam” said that was the fastest he has ever
run without the Police chasing him. |
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Immediately following the parade they were invited
over to the Hampden Township VFD which was a few
miles away. When they arrived they were given the
grand tour of the large station. The Hampden
Firefighters drove them around town on their
Aerialscope. They met the Chief of the Department
who invited them to ride along on any calls. Of
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course
no calls came in. When they got back to the main
station the members were well underway with fixing a
special dinner just for the Manassas crew. That was
awesome of them to do. After sharing many stories
and watching some of their videos (they are as bad
as us) they adjourned to the engine bay to share
more lies. Suddenly a water fight broke out between
several of their members which was the funniest
water fight ever. It was like watching a re-run of
an old Abbott and Costello movie. You just had to
be there. As they were leaving one of the young
girls asked if she could get a hug from “Joe” |
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before
leaving. “Joe,” always on the alert, suspected foul
play and didn’t go in for the hug. “Randy,” never
one to pass up a hug from a hot chick stepped in to
accept the hug on “Joe’s” behalf. As they left the
station “Joe” was ambushed by the Hampden guys with
water cans. Not wanting to get wet themselves, the
Wagon left “Joe” to fend for himself. He finally
chased the rig down the street and jumped aboard.
Of course they couldn’t let the Hampden boys get the
better of them. They circled back around to the
firehouse and let them have it with the water cans
as they drove by. A true drive-by shooting…..fire
department style. |
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Once they left the Hampden VFD “Steve” was on a
mission to find a convenience store. Remember, it
has been over three hours since the last convenience
store. They rode through town with “Matt”
navigating and finally found a Turkey Hill store.
“Steve” was truly a happy man. He checked each
aisle comparing Turkey Hill to 7-11. |
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Once
on the road home the trip was mostly uneventful
until they made the stop at a rest area. “Joe” was
taking care of business while “Sam” hid in the
shadows with the water can. “Matt” stood by with
the video camera and caught the ambush on tape.
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Unfortunately for “Sam” things took a turn for the
worse when “Joe” wrestled the can from him and
proceeded to soak him. “Sam” was upset that his
beloved cell phone got wet. Actually, the phone was
so hot from usage that it actually steamed when
water hit it. |
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Once they arrived back in Manassas, “Matt” advised
over the radio that Wagon 501 was back in service.
Five minutes later, reality set in when they were
dispatched to a CPR in progress in the City…… |
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The
above story is true. The names have been changed to
protect the guilty.
Written by Ghost
Writer |
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Manassas Volunteer Fire Company |
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